Last year around this time I met with our new Children's Pastor and had the meeting that everyone dreads. This was the meeting where I was asked, "Where would you like to see this ministry five years from now." I left that meeting, not with a grand plan for the next five years of ministry here at Stonebriar, but rather with an idea of how much this ministry needs. There is so much that we could do and I would love to do, I just don't have the capability to do it. Taking my boss' advice, I put a dry erase board up in my office and started plotting out where we are and where we're going. When I stepped back, I saw a lot of white space in the middle.
Knowing that I have no power of my own, I started praying over that white space. Specifically, I started praying for someone to help me with the "Tweeners" Ministry. This is the portion of the SN Ministry for kids ages 13-16. Most people are scared of kids this age in general but add a disability to them, and people tend to take off running. I knew that it would take someone special to fill this void. I would love to do so personally but I knew I couldn't devote the time and energy needed to make the "Tweeners" Ministry one that would draw in the kids and engage the kids in ways a typical youth group can't.
This past May I attended a conference and heard of a new type of curriculum being offered that is based totally on music and repetition. While I had been sulking in the fact that God hadn't brought that one person forward to help with the Tweeners and we still only had a small group of 2-3 kids meeting each Sunday, I realized His plan was in action. I really wanted to try this new curriculum but couldn't imagine introducing it to our SN Classroom with a large number of kids and volunteers. I could, however, introduce it to the Tweeners and use their class as a pilot run. Thank you Lord for keeping this class small. I'll get to experiment with this new curriculum on a smaller scale.
So over the summer I had some fabulous teachers working with the Tweeners. They were engaging them and really faithful. Was God answering that prayer after all? Nope, come time for the September schedule (& the implementation of our new curriculum), I wound up with only one regular teacher to serve twice a month. Being a little discouraged, I thought there would be no way we could implement this new method of teaching with only one semi-regular teacher. To my knees even harder.
Finally, one year after starting to pray over the white space, I had an interview with a potential Ministry Partner. Knowing that she's a single college student, I thought she'd want to serve with the little kids and probably only twice a month. I thought I had her pegged. God had other plans. As we were talking, I found out that she's about to enter graduate school for music therapy. Things started to click in my feeble mind. I asked her if she'd be interested in the new curriculum we were about to roll out. Her face lit up! This was right up her alley. She offered to embrace the new curriculum and come to serve every week with the Tweeners to introduce this form of music therapy. She was so excited God was going to allow her to serve in such a specific way and I was beyond thrilled that God placed serving on her heart.
So, today, one year later. I fill some of the white space on my dry erase board. As I fill this space, I begin to pray for the other white spaces in front of me. Let's see what happens next.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sometimes it Hurts
Q: Half full or half empty?
Me: Half full
Q: Sunshine/blue sky or rainy day/clouds?
Me: Sunshine/blue sky
Q: Comedy or drama?
Me: Comedy
Q: It'll be alright or doomsday waiting to happen
Me: It'll be alright
By the answers to the questions above you can probably tell that I'm a pretty up-beat person. I like to laugh. If you're not smiling or depressed, it's my job to try to make you laugh. Most of the time I throw some sarcastic comment into the dialogue if the conversation is getting too dull just to create laughter in the room.
When someone asks me about my job, I'm the first to say how great it is. I'll give you all the positives and make you forget about the negatives. After all, the negatives just aren't worth the trouble worrying about because of all the great positives. I have discovered, however, that SN Ministry does hurt and that's ok.
When working in SN Ministry, you are going to grow attached to a lot of people...not only the special needs kids and adults you serve but also their families. I would consider many of our kids' parents as friends. I've been to many of their homes, I've spent time with them away from church and I've developed true relationships with them. By allowing myself to get so personally involved with these families, I'm opening myself up hurting right along with them. Many of them are hurting. As I mentioned in an earlier post, they hurt because of dreams that have been crushed. They hurt with each new diagnosis. They hurt with each unmet milestone. It's hard. As they share these hurts with me, I find myself aching for them. I don't have something clever to say to make them smile. I don't have a positive to throw back to defeat their negative. I've found that simply listening and praying is the best thing I can do...all the while, I'm hurting for them.
So what's the answer? There is no answer except to continue doing what I'm doing. I have to continue being that friend, prayer warrior, and sounding board. It's not enough to just open a classroom on Sunday mornings and welcome their kids. I have to be a friend and be willing to walk with them through life...sunny days or cloudy days.
Me: Half full
Q: Sunshine/blue sky or rainy day/clouds?
Me: Sunshine/blue sky
Q: Comedy or drama?
Me: Comedy
Q: It'll be alright or doomsday waiting to happen
Me: It'll be alright
By the answers to the questions above you can probably tell that I'm a pretty up-beat person. I like to laugh. If you're not smiling or depressed, it's my job to try to make you laugh. Most of the time I throw some sarcastic comment into the dialogue if the conversation is getting too dull just to create laughter in the room.
When someone asks me about my job, I'm the first to say how great it is. I'll give you all the positives and make you forget about the negatives. After all, the negatives just aren't worth the trouble worrying about because of all the great positives. I have discovered, however, that SN Ministry does hurt and that's ok.
When working in SN Ministry, you are going to grow attached to a lot of people...not only the special needs kids and adults you serve but also their families. I would consider many of our kids' parents as friends. I've been to many of their homes, I've spent time with them away from church and I've developed true relationships with them. By allowing myself to get so personally involved with these families, I'm opening myself up hurting right along with them. Many of them are hurting. As I mentioned in an earlier post, they hurt because of dreams that have been crushed. They hurt with each new diagnosis. They hurt with each unmet milestone. It's hard. As they share these hurts with me, I find myself aching for them. I don't have something clever to say to make them smile. I don't have a positive to throw back to defeat their negative. I've found that simply listening and praying is the best thing I can do...all the while, I'm hurting for them.
So what's the answer? There is no answer except to continue doing what I'm doing. I have to continue being that friend, prayer warrior, and sounding board. It's not enough to just open a classroom on Sunday mornings and welcome their kids. I have to be a friend and be willing to walk with them through life...sunny days or cloudy days.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Promotion: When to Promote, When to Keep Back?
This past weekend was our Promotion Sunday. Children's Ministry always sets it to be the day before school starts. All the kids are officially promoted up to their new grades. The 5 year olds who have been in the Preschool Building are now in the "B" Building as Kindergartners. The 4th graders who were in the Elementary Department get to move up to the cooler, older Junction 56 room for 5th and 6th graders. The 6th graders who were the big guys in the Children's Ministry become the little fish in the Junior High Ministry. It's a bunch of change. Most are really excited, some are terrified.
If you can imagine having a special needs child, you can imagine that Promotion Sunday is one for great anxiety. These kids are expected to move classrooms at church and then turn around and move classrooms at school the very next day. Really? This makes it tough on not only the kids but the parents.
This is where a SN Ministry must be incredibly flexible. You can't make hard fast rules and you can't expect all to fall into the mold. On Sunday, while we promoted several of our kids, we had a few that didn't need the extra stress so they stayed put. We'll probably look at promoting them after Labor Day. After all, Labor Day is one of those Sundays when all of our regular volunteers are on vacation and the church seems to take second seat to the last minute getaways.
Some have asked if we always promote. Again, this is where you have to be really flexible. We all know that programming is very different as you move from department to department. For instance, in our church, our preschoolers have what is called JAM (Jesus And Me) Time as their large group experience. JAM Time is very up beat, it's energetic, the kids are moving, and the lessons are taught through puppets or skit. The lessons are short but the message is hit home through the songs and Bible verse as well. The kids are not ever sitting still for longer than about 5 minutes.
Elementary, on the other hand, is for an older audience so they're not moving as much. The songs are more complex and sometimes slower. The lessons are longer and more involved without always using a puppet or skit. The kids are required to sit quietly and still for longer periods. While our kids generally grow into this programming, it's not always an automatic response the minute they hit Kindergarten.
We always look at several factors when deciding where a child should be placed...whether or not we should promote.
1. What is their learning style?
Can they sit still or do they need to be up and moving? Do the large groups hamper their learning or are they better in large groups because they can be themselves without being pointed out?
2. Where are their friends?
If you have a child who has developed friendships with other kids in their class, keeping them back from those friends may do more harm than good. It might not always be wise to keep a child in their preferred program style if it means forcing them to make new relationships. Relationships might win out.
3. What do the parents want?
Parents always know their child best. You want to always work with the parents, not against them. If they are worried about their child being too overwhelmed in an older environment, keep them back. It's not worth having mom and dad constantly worried about their child just to keep them with their age group. Some age groups are talking about things that their child just won't understand. Be sensitive to their needs.
4. Nothing is set in stone.
You must always be flexible. If you try one thing for a couple of weeks and it's just not working, be willing to switch gears and go another direction. You don't want to make anyone suffer through something just because you're unwilling to admit a mistake. Always be willing to make things right.
I hope this has helped as you look at whether or not to promote. It's really a case by case decision. You need to remember to always put the child's needs ahead of everything else and you'll make the right decision.
If you can imagine having a special needs child, you can imagine that Promotion Sunday is one for great anxiety. These kids are expected to move classrooms at church and then turn around and move classrooms at school the very next day. Really? This makes it tough on not only the kids but the parents.
This is where a SN Ministry must be incredibly flexible. You can't make hard fast rules and you can't expect all to fall into the mold. On Sunday, while we promoted several of our kids, we had a few that didn't need the extra stress so they stayed put. We'll probably look at promoting them after Labor Day. After all, Labor Day is one of those Sundays when all of our regular volunteers are on vacation and the church seems to take second seat to the last minute getaways.
Some have asked if we always promote. Again, this is where you have to be really flexible. We all know that programming is very different as you move from department to department. For instance, in our church, our preschoolers have what is called JAM (Jesus And Me) Time as their large group experience. JAM Time is very up beat, it's energetic, the kids are moving, and the lessons are taught through puppets or skit. The lessons are short but the message is hit home through the songs and Bible verse as well. The kids are not ever sitting still for longer than about 5 minutes.
Elementary, on the other hand, is for an older audience so they're not moving as much. The songs are more complex and sometimes slower. The lessons are longer and more involved without always using a puppet or skit. The kids are required to sit quietly and still for longer periods. While our kids generally grow into this programming, it's not always an automatic response the minute they hit Kindergarten.
We always look at several factors when deciding where a child should be placed...whether or not we should promote.
1. What is their learning style?
Can they sit still or do they need to be up and moving? Do the large groups hamper their learning or are they better in large groups because they can be themselves without being pointed out?
2. Where are their friends?
If you have a child who has developed friendships with other kids in their class, keeping them back from those friends may do more harm than good. It might not always be wise to keep a child in their preferred program style if it means forcing them to make new relationships. Relationships might win out.
3. What do the parents want?
Parents always know their child best. You want to always work with the parents, not against them. If they are worried about their child being too overwhelmed in an older environment, keep them back. It's not worth having mom and dad constantly worried about their child just to keep them with their age group. Some age groups are talking about things that their child just won't understand. Be sensitive to their needs.
4. Nothing is set in stone.
You must always be flexible. If you try one thing for a couple of weeks and it's just not working, be willing to switch gears and go another direction. You don't want to make anyone suffer through something just because you're unwilling to admit a mistake. Always be willing to make things right.
I hope this has helped as you look at whether or not to promote. It's really a case by case decision. You need to remember to always put the child's needs ahead of everything else and you'll make the right decision.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Summer = Lack of Posts
I was doing pretty good at first. I posted on what people were asking about. I tried to get information out as I thought about it. Lately, as you've noticed, this blog has been pretty stagnate. It hasn't been that I haven't had anything to share, it's simply been SUMMER. For most ministries, summer is a time when you can breathe deeper and enjoy a slower pace. Most families do tend to travel during the summer, therefore keeping them from attending their home church service on Sunday mornings. For anyone somewhat involved in Children's Ministry, you know this is quite different. Summer means Vacation Bible School, Summer Camps, and all the socials you can muster up. For Special Needs Ministry, it is no different.This summer has been full of event after event after event. In my life, I'd have it no other way.
To start we had Vacation Bible School. This year our church held Vacation Bible School at night. To some in our SN Ministry, this was a huge inconvenience. Many kids with SN tend to have more extreme behaviors in the evening. Some are caused by simply being tired from the day, some are caused by "sun downers". Regardless, the evening time can be trying for families with SN kids. To ask them to come out to the church for VBS can be more than they're willing to think about. On the other hand, there were several kids who were able to come to VBS this year because it did not interfere with their summer school programs. Many of our SN kids are in summer school programs that run in the morning. When VBS is in the morning, many of our kids are unable to participate. This year we had a great turn out. There were about 15 SN kids who participated in Vacation Bible School with a buddy. They sat in the large group times, did crafts, participated in games, and heard about the love of Christ each night. It was amazing. It not only fed the child spiritually, it allowed mom and dad to have two and a half hours each evening as respite.
The next major event of the summer was our time at Joni & Friends Family Retreat. This year we took 13 families and 8 volunteers down to Camp Allen to participate in the Joni & Friends Family Retreat. While camp can be expensive, we spent time throughout the year raising money to help send our families. Without the extra financial burden on them, they were able to really enjoy their "vacation". While at camp, Joni & Friends provides a volunteer to pair up with each SN child and their siblings. While the kids are off enjoying the camp activities with their assigned volunteer, mom and dad are free to do whatever they'd like. There are activities and worship times planned but they also have the freedom to skip out on things and just relax. Before camp, I had actually never seen some of our parents relaxed and kid-free. To see them in a new way and be able to connect with them outside of the craziness of the SN Ministry was a blessing.
Throughout the remainder of the summer we've had various socials and special events. Some of them are planned well in advance, some of them are spur of the moment because the opportunity arose like the baseball game we attended. One of our teachers was given a suite to a baseball game. Within a week, we had all our John 9:3 (Adults and Older Teens with SN) families arranged to enjoy a baseball game out of the heat and with plenty of food and drinks. It wasn't something that everyone was able to attend because of the short notice but those who were there had a fabulous time.
I wanted to tell you about the summer not just to give you an excuse about why this blog hasn't been updated but to let you know what can be done. So many times we are too scared to plan too much for our SN kids and their families to participate in. We often limit them before they're able to make their own decision. We think that they wouldn't want to do something or they wouldn't feel comfortable doing something. When we do this, we're really putting more limits on them and that's just not fair. So, as you're planning for next summer, remember they want to have the same summer experiences as everyone else. Plan it, promote it, and have fun with those who do choose to attend.
To start we had Vacation Bible School. This year our church held Vacation Bible School at night. To some in our SN Ministry, this was a huge inconvenience. Many kids with SN tend to have more extreme behaviors in the evening. Some are caused by simply being tired from the day, some are caused by "sun downers". Regardless, the evening time can be trying for families with SN kids. To ask them to come out to the church for VBS can be more than they're willing to think about. On the other hand, there were several kids who were able to come to VBS this year because it did not interfere with their summer school programs. Many of our SN kids are in summer school programs that run in the morning. When VBS is in the morning, many of our kids are unable to participate. This year we had a great turn out. There were about 15 SN kids who participated in Vacation Bible School with a buddy. They sat in the large group times, did crafts, participated in games, and heard about the love of Christ each night. It was amazing. It not only fed the child spiritually, it allowed mom and dad to have two and a half hours each evening as respite.
The next major event of the summer was our time at Joni & Friends Family Retreat. This year we took 13 families and 8 volunteers down to Camp Allen to participate in the Joni & Friends Family Retreat. While camp can be expensive, we spent time throughout the year raising money to help send our families. Without the extra financial burden on them, they were able to really enjoy their "vacation". While at camp, Joni & Friends provides a volunteer to pair up with each SN child and their siblings. While the kids are off enjoying the camp activities with their assigned volunteer, mom and dad are free to do whatever they'd like. There are activities and worship times planned but they also have the freedom to skip out on things and just relax. Before camp, I had actually never seen some of our parents relaxed and kid-free. To see them in a new way and be able to connect with them outside of the craziness of the SN Ministry was a blessing.
Throughout the remainder of the summer we've had various socials and special events. Some of them are planned well in advance, some of them are spur of the moment because the opportunity arose like the baseball game we attended. One of our teachers was given a suite to a baseball game. Within a week, we had all our John 9:3 (Adults and Older Teens with SN) families arranged to enjoy a baseball game out of the heat and with plenty of food and drinks. It wasn't something that everyone was able to attend because of the short notice but those who were there had a fabulous time.
I wanted to tell you about the summer not just to give you an excuse about why this blog hasn't been updated but to let you know what can be done. So many times we are too scared to plan too much for our SN kids and their families to participate in. We often limit them before they're able to make their own decision. We think that they wouldn't want to do something or they wouldn't feel comfortable doing something. When we do this, we're really putting more limits on them and that's just not fair. So, as you're planning for next summer, remember they want to have the same summer experiences as everyone else. Plan it, promote it, and have fun with those who do choose to attend.
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