We have a little boy who has been coming to the SN Ministry here at Stonebriar for about 5 months now. He is absolutely precious and is quite vocal and very artistic. Dane is also on a gluten-free diet like most of our kids. Unlike some of our other kids, however, Dane is very aware of what he likes and doesn't like and will make sure you know his feelings. Apparently he has always LOVED goldfish crackers and seems to have a fixation on them. Maybe he's like me in that when you tell me I can't have something, it suddenly becomes my craving. He tries every week to get goldfish from our volunteers. He tells them that's what he wants (we serve goldfish to our non-gluten-free kids) and tries to get one of them to give them to him even though he's not supposed to have them. A few weeks ago I was in the room during snack time and had to tell him he couldn't have goldfish. He got upset and went straight for the drawing table. A few moments later, a volunteer handed me a piece of paper. She said that Dane told her to give it to me. The paper was a drawing that depicted "No Pretzels" (we give our gluten-free kids gluten-free pretzels). A few minutes later the volunteer handed me another drawing that depicted "I love goldfish".
I've held onto those drawings just aching for Dane and his love of goldfish. I searched the Internet but couldn't find any gluten-free goldfish. I finally did find a mix to make your own gluten-free fish. Today I made the first batch. Hopefully on Sunday Dane will be excited to have his very own gluten-free goldfish.
I write all this first because I loved the drawings so much and wanted to share them with you. I also wanted you to know that there is a good gluten-free goldfish cracker mix out there (Miss Roben's www.allergygrocer.com). Most of all, however, I wanted to let you know that it is OK to go an extra mile for the kids and families you serve. There will be a lot of times in ministry that you'll have to say, "No" because of one thing or another. There are also a lot of times where you can do something a little out of the box that might just make someone feel all that more loved. Since this is the Season of Giving, why not give just a little more?
Friday, December 17, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Hope
I've been on vacation this past week. Most vacations I'm at least able to stay connected through my iPhone. This one I was without everything, even a computer with Internet access or a LAN line. Crazy how God puts you in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico to get you to have time to rest.
While resting, I did a lot of reading. I actually finished two different books, Columbine by Dave Cullen and Without a Word by Jill Kelly. Different is probably an understatement. As I was thinking of what to put on the blog, I realized how similar they were in parts. Hopefully I'll be able to get that across as I type out my thoughts.
I read Columbine first. It was a hard read but a captivating one. I found it interesting just how much God's hand was protecting so many people on April 20, 1999. The plans made were much worse than what actually occurred. While reading about the two shooters, Dylan & Eric, I was heartbroken for their lack of hope. They were on this earth for the sole purpose of self gratification and saw no chance for anything better than what they thought was their reality. Other people around them saw the hope but they never did. They never even grasped a shred of it.
Without a Word started out on a similar path. No killing involved, no desire to hurt others but Jim & Jill Kelly started off pursuing immediate gratification. They wanted feel good moments and thought life was about making themselves happy through love, money, and fame. It wasn't until they got the diagnosis that Hunter, their 2nd born and only son, had Krabbe Leukodystrophy that Jill started searching for something more. Jill shared many of her journal entries in the book. It was interesting to see the focus of her journal entries change as she searched for hope in something more than her abilities. When she did accept Christ, her outlook changed. The disease her son had wasn't so much there to destroy her and her family but it was there to point her to Christ. While she still mourned, and continues to mourn, the death of her son, she had the hope in Christ that he was dancing in heaven and that she'd be reunited with him again one day. Later, when Jim became a believer, he found comfort in the hope of a future as well.
So how does all this relate to Special Needs Ministry? Very easily, we are here to provide our families an avenue to experience the hope they long for. Many families who come into our doors on Sunday mornings are believers searching for a church home where their whole family is accepted. There are some, however, who hear there is a safe place for their son or daughter with special needs and they just want a break. If that means going to church for an hour, they'll take it. Many families who we come into contact with are not believers and have not found the hope. You can tell by looking at their face and listening to their stories. The deep despair is evident. What a great time to tell them of the hope Christ offers.
While resting, I did a lot of reading. I actually finished two different books, Columbine by Dave Cullen and Without a Word by Jill Kelly. Different is probably an understatement. As I was thinking of what to put on the blog, I realized how similar they were in parts. Hopefully I'll be able to get that across as I type out my thoughts.
I read Columbine first. It was a hard read but a captivating one. I found it interesting just how much God's hand was protecting so many people on April 20, 1999. The plans made were much worse than what actually occurred. While reading about the two shooters, Dylan & Eric, I was heartbroken for their lack of hope. They were on this earth for the sole purpose of self gratification and saw no chance for anything better than what they thought was their reality. Other people around them saw the hope but they never did. They never even grasped a shred of it.
Without a Word started out on a similar path. No killing involved, no desire to hurt others but Jim & Jill Kelly started off pursuing immediate gratification. They wanted feel good moments and thought life was about making themselves happy through love, money, and fame. It wasn't until they got the diagnosis that Hunter, their 2nd born and only son, had Krabbe Leukodystrophy that Jill started searching for something more. Jill shared many of her journal entries in the book. It was interesting to see the focus of her journal entries change as she searched for hope in something more than her abilities. When she did accept Christ, her outlook changed. The disease her son had wasn't so much there to destroy her and her family but it was there to point her to Christ. While she still mourned, and continues to mourn, the death of her son, she had the hope in Christ that he was dancing in heaven and that she'd be reunited with him again one day. Later, when Jim became a believer, he found comfort in the hope of a future as well.
So how does all this relate to Special Needs Ministry? Very easily, we are here to provide our families an avenue to experience the hope they long for. Many families who come into our doors on Sunday mornings are believers searching for a church home where their whole family is accepted. There are some, however, who hear there is a safe place for their son or daughter with special needs and they just want a break. If that means going to church for an hour, they'll take it. Many families who we come into contact with are not believers and have not found the hope. You can tell by looking at their face and listening to their stories. The deep despair is evident. What a great time to tell them of the hope Christ offers.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Weighted Blankets
So many times I'm asked, "What are a few things that you would purchase if you are starting a Special Needs Ministry but have no budget?" Since there are so many things I would suggest, I thought I'd put them on this blog for you. I'll post them up here as I think about them so let's start with the weighted blanket.
If you're like me, you love when the weather turns cold and you can cuddle up under a big blanket and watch your favorite movie. The bulkiness of the blanket on a cold day brings immediate relief to my body. I could be in the worst mood feeling dreary and down but put me under a big comfy blanket and I'm in heaven.
This is similar to how a lot of our autistic and sensory kids feel about the weighted blanket. When they're unable to regain control or feel like their skin is crawling, the weighted blanket can bring them back to a sense of peace. This past weekend we had a child who was very upset and was starting to become physically agitated. Once we were able to get him under control (by using our own physical strength), we placed a weighted blanket on him. It was as if someone had given him a shot of a relaxation medicine...he calmed right down and was actually able to focus on what we were saying. The pressure from the blanket gave him his control back. From that point on, when he felt himself losing control, he would grab the blanket and sit down for a bit. The blanket helped him find his own coping mechanism.
If you google "weighted blankets" you can find them all over. We have a lady in our area who makes cute weighted blankets so she's a good resource for our families. I'm sure there are other moms in your area who make them or could make them if you show them one as a pattern.
If you're like me, you love when the weather turns cold and you can cuddle up under a big blanket and watch your favorite movie. The bulkiness of the blanket on a cold day brings immediate relief to my body. I could be in the worst mood feeling dreary and down but put me under a big comfy blanket and I'm in heaven.
This is similar to how a lot of our autistic and sensory kids feel about the weighted blanket. When they're unable to regain control or feel like their skin is crawling, the weighted blanket can bring them back to a sense of peace. This past weekend we had a child who was very upset and was starting to become physically agitated. Once we were able to get him under control (by using our own physical strength), we placed a weighted blanket on him. It was as if someone had given him a shot of a relaxation medicine...he calmed right down and was actually able to focus on what we were saying. The pressure from the blanket gave him his control back. From that point on, when he felt himself losing control, he would grab the blanket and sit down for a bit. The blanket helped him find his own coping mechanism.
If you google "weighted blankets" you can find them all over. We have a lady in our area who makes cute weighted blankets so she's a good resource for our families. I'm sure there are other moms in your area who make them or could make them if you show them one as a pattern.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
String of Hope...Marriages
This weekend a reality of Special Needs Ministry hit me square in the face. I've known it's an issue but for some reason this weekend my heart was hit rather than just my mind. I'm talking about marriage success amongst families with special needs children. About 40-50% of all marriages in America end in divorce. That number is for the typical family. If you throw a special needs child into the mix, the rate of divorce jumps up to around 85%. I don't know about you but that is scary. To look at all the families in the Special Needs Ministry and to think, if the statistics proved true, of 100 of them only 15 of them would still be married when I revisit the list in 5 or 10 years. Wow, that is a lot of disruption for children who don't handle disruption well.
Rather than just talk about the statistics or worry about the "what ifs", God has been pressing on my heart to do something about it. My husband and I recently completed a 24 week course called "Re-Engage". It's a program that was started by Watermark Church in Dallas to address the need for couples to re-engage themselves in their marriage. The great thing is that it's not only for couples who are on the verge of divorce, but also for couples who just need a flame reignited. Re-Engage doesn't help the marriage by pinpointing his issues or her issues. It works to restore personal relationships with Christ and our responsibility to love like Christ does. For my own marriage, this program just what we needed to put our marriage back at a priority after having two kids. Now I have two typical children and can easily see how children call pull a marriage apart...never mind a special needs child.
So since our church offers this ministry, why aren't our families taking advantage of it? Childcare. Childcare if offered for all who participate in Re-Engage but most typical childcare settings won't support a special needs child. Someone who needs one-on-one will overwhelm the childcare workers. We need to offer special volunteers to care for the special needs children.
I guess I type all of this out on this blog to get you to look at the issues your families are dealing with. Marriage is a HUGE thing. If a mom is overwhelmed by a special needs child and feels she's also fighting her spouse because he's not meeting the needs she has set him up to meet, how much more can mom take? If mom decides she can't handle being torn on both ends (from husband and child), she's forced to choose. If there was some way for problems to be addressed and worked on before a choice is to be made, maybe more marriages would be saved. Any string of hope that can be easily accessed is the start. Maybe our string of hope, given the ministries we already have in place, is childcare for Re-Engage. Could it be that simple? YES.
Rather than just talk about the statistics or worry about the "what ifs", God has been pressing on my heart to do something about it. My husband and I recently completed a 24 week course called "Re-Engage". It's a program that was started by Watermark Church in Dallas to address the need for couples to re-engage themselves in their marriage. The great thing is that it's not only for couples who are on the verge of divorce, but also for couples who just need a flame reignited. Re-Engage doesn't help the marriage by pinpointing his issues or her issues. It works to restore personal relationships with Christ and our responsibility to love like Christ does. For my own marriage, this program just what we needed to put our marriage back at a priority after having two kids. Now I have two typical children and can easily see how children call pull a marriage apart...never mind a special needs child.
So since our church offers this ministry, why aren't our families taking advantage of it? Childcare. Childcare if offered for all who participate in Re-Engage but most typical childcare settings won't support a special needs child. Someone who needs one-on-one will overwhelm the childcare workers. We need to offer special volunteers to care for the special needs children.
I guess I type all of this out on this blog to get you to look at the issues your families are dealing with. Marriage is a HUGE thing. If a mom is overwhelmed by a special needs child and feels she's also fighting her spouse because he's not meeting the needs she has set him up to meet, how much more can mom take? If mom decides she can't handle being torn on both ends (from husband and child), she's forced to choose. If there was some way for problems to be addressed and worked on before a choice is to be made, maybe more marriages would be saved. Any string of hope that can be easily accessed is the start. Maybe our string of hope, given the ministries we already have in place, is childcare for Re-Engage. Could it be that simple? YES.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Labels
I like to think that I am organized. I love the idea of having everything in it's spot. I can spend hours browsing in the Container Store dreaming of what my house would look like if I had enough money to organize every square inch of it. I love the look of the tidy little bins, each with its own label telling you what is nicely stored inside. Labeling things seems to be the key to organization. You know exactly what is to go in that box when you're cleaning up and you know exactly what is in that box when you're trying to find something. Whoever came up with the labeling machine is brilliant.
As much as I love organization and labels, it's odd that the one thing that will cause my blood to boil most is labels. Doesn't seem quite right does it? Let me explain. I HATE labels on kids or abilities or disabilities. If the idea of a label is to give you clear boundaries as to what something is for, why would we ever think of doing that with a child...or anyone for that matter? By giving anyone a label, you're clearly defining them right there, giving them no chance to become something different.
We all have children in our church (or even parents) that are difficult to some. As they move on up through programs, they're constantly stuck with the label of "difficult child", "overbearing mom", or "uninvolved dad". No matter how that child or parent changes as they mature, they'll never be able to overcome that label because our labels are stuck with super glue. Maybe we talk amongst ministries to give people the heads-up on someone or maybe, as most do, we offer it as a "prayer request" saying that we'll pray for that ministry because these hard kids are coming their way. So, before an introduction has ever occurred, we've already got an idea of how this child is going to act...setting them up to fail.
I write this post today because I found myself doing the exact thing I detest. I was asked about a child coming into a program. As I typed out the email, I found myself giving this child all sorts of labels. I was preparing the ministry leader to have trouble with this child before she even laid eyes on him. I quickly hit the delete key and started my email again. I did not hide any truth that would be important but I also didn't give her every last opinion of mine. I honestly don't know how he'll act in this particular setting. He could blossom so who am I to keep him from doing so?
So, even if you're like me and love putting things where they belong and labeling everything, think about the little life you might be changing forever because of your obsession with the label maker. We need to allow GOD ALONE to be the label maker of our lives and the lives of those we work with.
As much as I love organization and labels, it's odd that the one thing that will cause my blood to boil most is labels. Doesn't seem quite right does it? Let me explain. I HATE labels on kids or abilities or disabilities. If the idea of a label is to give you clear boundaries as to what something is for, why would we ever think of doing that with a child...or anyone for that matter? By giving anyone a label, you're clearly defining them right there, giving them no chance to become something different.
We all have children in our church (or even parents) that are difficult to some. As they move on up through programs, they're constantly stuck with the label of "difficult child", "overbearing mom", or "uninvolved dad". No matter how that child or parent changes as they mature, they'll never be able to overcome that label because our labels are stuck with super glue. Maybe we talk amongst ministries to give people the heads-up on someone or maybe, as most do, we offer it as a "prayer request" saying that we'll pray for that ministry because these hard kids are coming their way. So, before an introduction has ever occurred, we've already got an idea of how this child is going to act...setting them up to fail.
I write this post today because I found myself doing the exact thing I detest. I was asked about a child coming into a program. As I typed out the email, I found myself giving this child all sorts of labels. I was preparing the ministry leader to have trouble with this child before she even laid eyes on him. I quickly hit the delete key and started my email again. I did not hide any truth that would be important but I also didn't give her every last opinion of mine. I honestly don't know how he'll act in this particular setting. He could blossom so who am I to keep him from doing so?
So, even if you're like me and love putting things where they belong and labeling everything, think about the little life you might be changing forever because of your obsession with the label maker. We need to allow GOD ALONE to be the label maker of our lives and the lives of those we work with.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Advocating within the Church
As I've mentioned in previous posts, parent relations are HUGE in any Special Needs Ministry. I must say, the parent relationships are probably my favorite part. Maybe it comes from my background as a social worker, but I love working with the parents. I love that they feel comfortable enough to call me when they have a question or concern. I love that they give me the opportunity to work as an advocate on their behalf.
Advocating for change, especially in the church environment, can be a little challenging. There are special things you need to remember.
1. Get all the facts: The last thing you'll want is to go to bat for something without knowing the entire situation.
2. Approach others gently: You are all really on the same team if you're all in ministry. Don't go in expecting a fight.
3. Be willing to accept change: You might not have all the facts and there are things that just cannot be changed. If you are not willing to come down from your point for a valid reason, you're going to damage the ministry you're doing.
Above all else, I would make sure you cover the entire situation in prayer. Pray for the conversations that will be held. Pray for the parties involved. It's amazing how minds can be changed, hearts can be melted, and change can be made when we're all listening to the same voice of the Lord.
Advocating for change, especially in the church environment, can be a little challenging. There are special things you need to remember.
1. Get all the facts: The last thing you'll want is to go to bat for something without knowing the entire situation.
2. Approach others gently: You are all really on the same team if you're all in ministry. Don't go in expecting a fight.
3. Be willing to accept change: You might not have all the facts and there are things that just cannot be changed. If you are not willing to come down from your point for a valid reason, you're going to damage the ministry you're doing.
Above all else, I would make sure you cover the entire situation in prayer. Pray for the conversations that will be held. Pray for the parties involved. It's amazing how minds can be changed, hearts can be melted, and change can be made when we're all listening to the same voice of the Lord.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Got White Space?
Last year around this time I met with our new Children's Pastor and had the meeting that everyone dreads. This was the meeting where I was asked, "Where would you like to see this ministry five years from now." I left that meeting, not with a grand plan for the next five years of ministry here at Stonebriar, but rather with an idea of how much this ministry needs. There is so much that we could do and I would love to do, I just don't have the capability to do it. Taking my boss' advice, I put a dry erase board up in my office and started plotting out where we are and where we're going. When I stepped back, I saw a lot of white space in the middle.
Knowing that I have no power of my own, I started praying over that white space. Specifically, I started praying for someone to help me with the "Tweeners" Ministry. This is the portion of the SN Ministry for kids ages 13-16. Most people are scared of kids this age in general but add a disability to them, and people tend to take off running. I knew that it would take someone special to fill this void. I would love to do so personally but I knew I couldn't devote the time and energy needed to make the "Tweeners" Ministry one that would draw in the kids and engage the kids in ways a typical youth group can't.
This past May I attended a conference and heard of a new type of curriculum being offered that is based totally on music and repetition. While I had been sulking in the fact that God hadn't brought that one person forward to help with the Tweeners and we still only had a small group of 2-3 kids meeting each Sunday, I realized His plan was in action. I really wanted to try this new curriculum but couldn't imagine introducing it to our SN Classroom with a large number of kids and volunteers. I could, however, introduce it to the Tweeners and use their class as a pilot run. Thank you Lord for keeping this class small. I'll get to experiment with this new curriculum on a smaller scale.
So over the summer I had some fabulous teachers working with the Tweeners. They were engaging them and really faithful. Was God answering that prayer after all? Nope, come time for the September schedule (& the implementation of our new curriculum), I wound up with only one regular teacher to serve twice a month. Being a little discouraged, I thought there would be no way we could implement this new method of teaching with only one semi-regular teacher. To my knees even harder.
Finally, one year after starting to pray over the white space, I had an interview with a potential Ministry Partner. Knowing that she's a single college student, I thought she'd want to serve with the little kids and probably only twice a month. I thought I had her pegged. God had other plans. As we were talking, I found out that she's about to enter graduate school for music therapy. Things started to click in my feeble mind. I asked her if she'd be interested in the new curriculum we were about to roll out. Her face lit up! This was right up her alley. She offered to embrace the new curriculum and come to serve every week with the Tweeners to introduce this form of music therapy. She was so excited God was going to allow her to serve in such a specific way and I was beyond thrilled that God placed serving on her heart.
So, today, one year later. I fill some of the white space on my dry erase board. As I fill this space, I begin to pray for the other white spaces in front of me. Let's see what happens next.
Knowing that I have no power of my own, I started praying over that white space. Specifically, I started praying for someone to help me with the "Tweeners" Ministry. This is the portion of the SN Ministry for kids ages 13-16. Most people are scared of kids this age in general but add a disability to them, and people tend to take off running. I knew that it would take someone special to fill this void. I would love to do so personally but I knew I couldn't devote the time and energy needed to make the "Tweeners" Ministry one that would draw in the kids and engage the kids in ways a typical youth group can't.
This past May I attended a conference and heard of a new type of curriculum being offered that is based totally on music and repetition. While I had been sulking in the fact that God hadn't brought that one person forward to help with the Tweeners and we still only had a small group of 2-3 kids meeting each Sunday, I realized His plan was in action. I really wanted to try this new curriculum but couldn't imagine introducing it to our SN Classroom with a large number of kids and volunteers. I could, however, introduce it to the Tweeners and use their class as a pilot run. Thank you Lord for keeping this class small. I'll get to experiment with this new curriculum on a smaller scale.
So over the summer I had some fabulous teachers working with the Tweeners. They were engaging them and really faithful. Was God answering that prayer after all? Nope, come time for the September schedule (& the implementation of our new curriculum), I wound up with only one regular teacher to serve twice a month. Being a little discouraged, I thought there would be no way we could implement this new method of teaching with only one semi-regular teacher. To my knees even harder.
Finally, one year after starting to pray over the white space, I had an interview with a potential Ministry Partner. Knowing that she's a single college student, I thought she'd want to serve with the little kids and probably only twice a month. I thought I had her pegged. God had other plans. As we were talking, I found out that she's about to enter graduate school for music therapy. Things started to click in my feeble mind. I asked her if she'd be interested in the new curriculum we were about to roll out. Her face lit up! This was right up her alley. She offered to embrace the new curriculum and come to serve every week with the Tweeners to introduce this form of music therapy. She was so excited God was going to allow her to serve in such a specific way and I was beyond thrilled that God placed serving on her heart.
So, today, one year later. I fill some of the white space on my dry erase board. As I fill this space, I begin to pray for the other white spaces in front of me. Let's see what happens next.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sometimes it Hurts
Q: Half full or half empty?
Me: Half full
Q: Sunshine/blue sky or rainy day/clouds?
Me: Sunshine/blue sky
Q: Comedy or drama?
Me: Comedy
Q: It'll be alright or doomsday waiting to happen
Me: It'll be alright
By the answers to the questions above you can probably tell that I'm a pretty up-beat person. I like to laugh. If you're not smiling or depressed, it's my job to try to make you laugh. Most of the time I throw some sarcastic comment into the dialogue if the conversation is getting too dull just to create laughter in the room.
When someone asks me about my job, I'm the first to say how great it is. I'll give you all the positives and make you forget about the negatives. After all, the negatives just aren't worth the trouble worrying about because of all the great positives. I have discovered, however, that SN Ministry does hurt and that's ok.
When working in SN Ministry, you are going to grow attached to a lot of people...not only the special needs kids and adults you serve but also their families. I would consider many of our kids' parents as friends. I've been to many of their homes, I've spent time with them away from church and I've developed true relationships with them. By allowing myself to get so personally involved with these families, I'm opening myself up hurting right along with them. Many of them are hurting. As I mentioned in an earlier post, they hurt because of dreams that have been crushed. They hurt with each new diagnosis. They hurt with each unmet milestone. It's hard. As they share these hurts with me, I find myself aching for them. I don't have something clever to say to make them smile. I don't have a positive to throw back to defeat their negative. I've found that simply listening and praying is the best thing I can do...all the while, I'm hurting for them.
So what's the answer? There is no answer except to continue doing what I'm doing. I have to continue being that friend, prayer warrior, and sounding board. It's not enough to just open a classroom on Sunday mornings and welcome their kids. I have to be a friend and be willing to walk with them through life...sunny days or cloudy days.
Me: Half full
Q: Sunshine/blue sky or rainy day/clouds?
Me: Sunshine/blue sky
Q: Comedy or drama?
Me: Comedy
Q: It'll be alright or doomsday waiting to happen
Me: It'll be alright
By the answers to the questions above you can probably tell that I'm a pretty up-beat person. I like to laugh. If you're not smiling or depressed, it's my job to try to make you laugh. Most of the time I throw some sarcastic comment into the dialogue if the conversation is getting too dull just to create laughter in the room.
When someone asks me about my job, I'm the first to say how great it is. I'll give you all the positives and make you forget about the negatives. After all, the negatives just aren't worth the trouble worrying about because of all the great positives. I have discovered, however, that SN Ministry does hurt and that's ok.
When working in SN Ministry, you are going to grow attached to a lot of people...not only the special needs kids and adults you serve but also their families. I would consider many of our kids' parents as friends. I've been to many of their homes, I've spent time with them away from church and I've developed true relationships with them. By allowing myself to get so personally involved with these families, I'm opening myself up hurting right along with them. Many of them are hurting. As I mentioned in an earlier post, they hurt because of dreams that have been crushed. They hurt with each new diagnosis. They hurt with each unmet milestone. It's hard. As they share these hurts with me, I find myself aching for them. I don't have something clever to say to make them smile. I don't have a positive to throw back to defeat their negative. I've found that simply listening and praying is the best thing I can do...all the while, I'm hurting for them.
So what's the answer? There is no answer except to continue doing what I'm doing. I have to continue being that friend, prayer warrior, and sounding board. It's not enough to just open a classroom on Sunday mornings and welcome their kids. I have to be a friend and be willing to walk with them through life...sunny days or cloudy days.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Promotion: When to Promote, When to Keep Back?
This past weekend was our Promotion Sunday. Children's Ministry always sets it to be the day before school starts. All the kids are officially promoted up to their new grades. The 5 year olds who have been in the Preschool Building are now in the "B" Building as Kindergartners. The 4th graders who were in the Elementary Department get to move up to the cooler, older Junction 56 room for 5th and 6th graders. The 6th graders who were the big guys in the Children's Ministry become the little fish in the Junior High Ministry. It's a bunch of change. Most are really excited, some are terrified.
If you can imagine having a special needs child, you can imagine that Promotion Sunday is one for great anxiety. These kids are expected to move classrooms at church and then turn around and move classrooms at school the very next day. Really? This makes it tough on not only the kids but the parents.
This is where a SN Ministry must be incredibly flexible. You can't make hard fast rules and you can't expect all to fall into the mold. On Sunday, while we promoted several of our kids, we had a few that didn't need the extra stress so they stayed put. We'll probably look at promoting them after Labor Day. After all, Labor Day is one of those Sundays when all of our regular volunteers are on vacation and the church seems to take second seat to the last minute getaways.
Some have asked if we always promote. Again, this is where you have to be really flexible. We all know that programming is very different as you move from department to department. For instance, in our church, our preschoolers have what is called JAM (Jesus And Me) Time as their large group experience. JAM Time is very up beat, it's energetic, the kids are moving, and the lessons are taught through puppets or skit. The lessons are short but the message is hit home through the songs and Bible verse as well. The kids are not ever sitting still for longer than about 5 minutes.
Elementary, on the other hand, is for an older audience so they're not moving as much. The songs are more complex and sometimes slower. The lessons are longer and more involved without always using a puppet or skit. The kids are required to sit quietly and still for longer periods. While our kids generally grow into this programming, it's not always an automatic response the minute they hit Kindergarten.
We always look at several factors when deciding where a child should be placed...whether or not we should promote.
1. What is their learning style?
Can they sit still or do they need to be up and moving? Do the large groups hamper their learning or are they better in large groups because they can be themselves without being pointed out?
2. Where are their friends?
If you have a child who has developed friendships with other kids in their class, keeping them back from those friends may do more harm than good. It might not always be wise to keep a child in their preferred program style if it means forcing them to make new relationships. Relationships might win out.
3. What do the parents want?
Parents always know their child best. You want to always work with the parents, not against them. If they are worried about their child being too overwhelmed in an older environment, keep them back. It's not worth having mom and dad constantly worried about their child just to keep them with their age group. Some age groups are talking about things that their child just won't understand. Be sensitive to their needs.
4. Nothing is set in stone.
You must always be flexible. If you try one thing for a couple of weeks and it's just not working, be willing to switch gears and go another direction. You don't want to make anyone suffer through something just because you're unwilling to admit a mistake. Always be willing to make things right.
I hope this has helped as you look at whether or not to promote. It's really a case by case decision. You need to remember to always put the child's needs ahead of everything else and you'll make the right decision.
If you can imagine having a special needs child, you can imagine that Promotion Sunday is one for great anxiety. These kids are expected to move classrooms at church and then turn around and move classrooms at school the very next day. Really? This makes it tough on not only the kids but the parents.
This is where a SN Ministry must be incredibly flexible. You can't make hard fast rules and you can't expect all to fall into the mold. On Sunday, while we promoted several of our kids, we had a few that didn't need the extra stress so they stayed put. We'll probably look at promoting them after Labor Day. After all, Labor Day is one of those Sundays when all of our regular volunteers are on vacation and the church seems to take second seat to the last minute getaways.
Some have asked if we always promote. Again, this is where you have to be really flexible. We all know that programming is very different as you move from department to department. For instance, in our church, our preschoolers have what is called JAM (Jesus And Me) Time as their large group experience. JAM Time is very up beat, it's energetic, the kids are moving, and the lessons are taught through puppets or skit. The lessons are short but the message is hit home through the songs and Bible verse as well. The kids are not ever sitting still for longer than about 5 minutes.
Elementary, on the other hand, is for an older audience so they're not moving as much. The songs are more complex and sometimes slower. The lessons are longer and more involved without always using a puppet or skit. The kids are required to sit quietly and still for longer periods. While our kids generally grow into this programming, it's not always an automatic response the minute they hit Kindergarten.
We always look at several factors when deciding where a child should be placed...whether or not we should promote.
1. What is their learning style?
Can they sit still or do they need to be up and moving? Do the large groups hamper their learning or are they better in large groups because they can be themselves without being pointed out?
2. Where are their friends?
If you have a child who has developed friendships with other kids in their class, keeping them back from those friends may do more harm than good. It might not always be wise to keep a child in their preferred program style if it means forcing them to make new relationships. Relationships might win out.
3. What do the parents want?
Parents always know their child best. You want to always work with the parents, not against them. If they are worried about their child being too overwhelmed in an older environment, keep them back. It's not worth having mom and dad constantly worried about their child just to keep them with their age group. Some age groups are talking about things that their child just won't understand. Be sensitive to their needs.
4. Nothing is set in stone.
You must always be flexible. If you try one thing for a couple of weeks and it's just not working, be willing to switch gears and go another direction. You don't want to make anyone suffer through something just because you're unwilling to admit a mistake. Always be willing to make things right.
I hope this has helped as you look at whether or not to promote. It's really a case by case decision. You need to remember to always put the child's needs ahead of everything else and you'll make the right decision.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Summer = Lack of Posts
I was doing pretty good at first. I posted on what people were asking about. I tried to get information out as I thought about it. Lately, as you've noticed, this blog has been pretty stagnate. It hasn't been that I haven't had anything to share, it's simply been SUMMER. For most ministries, summer is a time when you can breathe deeper and enjoy a slower pace. Most families do tend to travel during the summer, therefore keeping them from attending their home church service on Sunday mornings. For anyone somewhat involved in Children's Ministry, you know this is quite different. Summer means Vacation Bible School, Summer Camps, and all the socials you can muster up. For Special Needs Ministry, it is no different.This summer has been full of event after event after event. In my life, I'd have it no other way.
To start we had Vacation Bible School. This year our church held Vacation Bible School at night. To some in our SN Ministry, this was a huge inconvenience. Many kids with SN tend to have more extreme behaviors in the evening. Some are caused by simply being tired from the day, some are caused by "sun downers". Regardless, the evening time can be trying for families with SN kids. To ask them to come out to the church for VBS can be more than they're willing to think about. On the other hand, there were several kids who were able to come to VBS this year because it did not interfere with their summer school programs. Many of our SN kids are in summer school programs that run in the morning. When VBS is in the morning, many of our kids are unable to participate. This year we had a great turn out. There were about 15 SN kids who participated in Vacation Bible School with a buddy. They sat in the large group times, did crafts, participated in games, and heard about the love of Christ each night. It was amazing. It not only fed the child spiritually, it allowed mom and dad to have two and a half hours each evening as respite.
The next major event of the summer was our time at Joni & Friends Family Retreat. This year we took 13 families and 8 volunteers down to Camp Allen to participate in the Joni & Friends Family Retreat. While camp can be expensive, we spent time throughout the year raising money to help send our families. Without the extra financial burden on them, they were able to really enjoy their "vacation". While at camp, Joni & Friends provides a volunteer to pair up with each SN child and their siblings. While the kids are off enjoying the camp activities with their assigned volunteer, mom and dad are free to do whatever they'd like. There are activities and worship times planned but they also have the freedom to skip out on things and just relax. Before camp, I had actually never seen some of our parents relaxed and kid-free. To see them in a new way and be able to connect with them outside of the craziness of the SN Ministry was a blessing.
Throughout the remainder of the summer we've had various socials and special events. Some of them are planned well in advance, some of them are spur of the moment because the opportunity arose like the baseball game we attended. One of our teachers was given a suite to a baseball game. Within a week, we had all our John 9:3 (Adults and Older Teens with SN) families arranged to enjoy a baseball game out of the heat and with plenty of food and drinks. It wasn't something that everyone was able to attend because of the short notice but those who were there had a fabulous time.
I wanted to tell you about the summer not just to give you an excuse about why this blog hasn't been updated but to let you know what can be done. So many times we are too scared to plan too much for our SN kids and their families to participate in. We often limit them before they're able to make their own decision. We think that they wouldn't want to do something or they wouldn't feel comfortable doing something. When we do this, we're really putting more limits on them and that's just not fair. So, as you're planning for next summer, remember they want to have the same summer experiences as everyone else. Plan it, promote it, and have fun with those who do choose to attend.
To start we had Vacation Bible School. This year our church held Vacation Bible School at night. To some in our SN Ministry, this was a huge inconvenience. Many kids with SN tend to have more extreme behaviors in the evening. Some are caused by simply being tired from the day, some are caused by "sun downers". Regardless, the evening time can be trying for families with SN kids. To ask them to come out to the church for VBS can be more than they're willing to think about. On the other hand, there were several kids who were able to come to VBS this year because it did not interfere with their summer school programs. Many of our SN kids are in summer school programs that run in the morning. When VBS is in the morning, many of our kids are unable to participate. This year we had a great turn out. There were about 15 SN kids who participated in Vacation Bible School with a buddy. They sat in the large group times, did crafts, participated in games, and heard about the love of Christ each night. It was amazing. It not only fed the child spiritually, it allowed mom and dad to have two and a half hours each evening as respite.
The next major event of the summer was our time at Joni & Friends Family Retreat. This year we took 13 families and 8 volunteers down to Camp Allen to participate in the Joni & Friends Family Retreat. While camp can be expensive, we spent time throughout the year raising money to help send our families. Without the extra financial burden on them, they were able to really enjoy their "vacation". While at camp, Joni & Friends provides a volunteer to pair up with each SN child and their siblings. While the kids are off enjoying the camp activities with their assigned volunteer, mom and dad are free to do whatever they'd like. There are activities and worship times planned but they also have the freedom to skip out on things and just relax. Before camp, I had actually never seen some of our parents relaxed and kid-free. To see them in a new way and be able to connect with them outside of the craziness of the SN Ministry was a blessing.
Throughout the remainder of the summer we've had various socials and special events. Some of them are planned well in advance, some of them are spur of the moment because the opportunity arose like the baseball game we attended. One of our teachers was given a suite to a baseball game. Within a week, we had all our John 9:3 (Adults and Older Teens with SN) families arranged to enjoy a baseball game out of the heat and with plenty of food and drinks. It wasn't something that everyone was able to attend because of the short notice but those who were there had a fabulous time.
I wanted to tell you about the summer not just to give you an excuse about why this blog hasn't been updated but to let you know what can be done. So many times we are too scared to plan too much for our SN kids and their families to participate in. We often limit them before they're able to make their own decision. We think that they wouldn't want to do something or they wouldn't feel comfortable doing something. When we do this, we're really putting more limits on them and that's just not fair. So, as you're planning for next summer, remember they want to have the same summer experiences as everyone else. Plan it, promote it, and have fun with those who do choose to attend.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
You have a SN Ministry but are you accessible?
When the church decides that it's going to take on the role of having a Special Needs Ministry, generally there are good feelings all around. You have people excited about the ministry opportunities, volunteers ready to go, and families ready to participate. Once you get all the obvious working parts in place, you'll find that there is one area that must be addressed but is going to be the hardest bridge you'll cross...accessibility.
You might be thinking, but all buildings are now required to meet certain standards because of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Yes you are right but just because they are standards doesn't mean they're what makes a building accessible. Let me give you some examples.
1. Parking: If you're like most churches, when the word parking is mentioned, people release a nervous giggle. Either churches don't have enough parking or their parking is too far away. The world is full of people who will spend 30 minutes driving through the parking lot at WalMart just to find that one spot that is "close". Never mind they could have parked, walked into the store, done their shopping, and been back in their car in that amount of time. Church attendees have the same mentality when arriving for services. They want ample parking and are going to take the closest spot they can find, regardless of the needs of others. Do you have handicapped parking spaces? You must if you're meeting ADA requirements but who parks in those spaces? Since handicapped parking tags are given out after most surgeries anymore, the people who truly need the spots are not often able to find them vacant. Do you have van accessible handicapped parking? If so, are vans with lifts parking there or are sedans and SUVs using those spots as they would any other handicapped spot? In our church we have a lot of handicapped parking but found that we needed to also add "Special Needs Ministry Parking" so that our families could find places to park near the building. A family with an autistic child might not have a handicapped parking sticker but they need close parking when they're walking with a "runner" through a crowded parking area. Having them walk 1/4 mile through a crowded lot is as dangerous as anything.
2. Doors: There is not a code in the ADA regulations that requires there to be automatic door openers on any doors (exterior or interior). If you go by minimum code, you'll probably not see any in your church. Think, however, about the mom pushing her son in a wheelchair. She approaches the door, purse & bags in hand, tries to open the door with one hand while pushing her son's chair through with the other hand. She'll use her foot or hip to help prop the door while she attempts to line up the chair and get it over the threshold. By the time she finally gets in the door, her bags are slipping down her arm, her hair is in her face, and she's worked up quite the sweat. Picture the same scenario as she's walking into the bathroom. While all bathrooms must have a disability accessible stall, they do not have to have the automatic door openers.
3. Elevators: You know that it is code to have elevators in buildings with more than one story but think about the size and the availability. Are your elevators capable of holding a large wheelchair and an assistant? Can you turn a wheelchair around in the elevator? Are the elevators in close proximity to the programming areas most used?
Now that you have an idea about accessibility and you have these avenues in place, think about if they're working? To let you in on my world....
Parking: We have handicapped parking but it's generally full well before the first service (which starts at 9:00am) because our older population come for their Adult Fellowship at 8am. While our SN Parking helps, it does not allow for the space needed for our wheelchair lift vans.
Doors: We have one main entrance door with an automatic opener and one set of bathrooms with automatic openers. The main entrance door is not technically our "main entrance" any longer (though it is closest to the SN Adult Fellowship classroom) and it does not work 75% of the time. The bathrooms with automatic openers are located in the Elementary Children's Programming area and are not easily accessible during Sunday Morning Services. The new space, near our new Worship Center, does not have any automatic doors and the doors are much heavier.
Elevators: We have three main buildings all connected by hallways. In each of the buildings we have one pair of elevators. At one point, there was one elevator (located in our oldest building furthest from the SN Suite and Worship Center) working....the other 5 were not. There are no ramps inside the building so if no elevators work, there is no way to get to the 2nd level from the 1st.
I say all this to help you as you plan, lead, or think about developing a Special Needs Ministry in your church. You can have the best ministry around but if you're not accessible, you're of no good to the people you're trying to serve.
You might be thinking, but all buildings are now required to meet certain standards because of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Yes you are right but just because they are standards doesn't mean they're what makes a building accessible. Let me give you some examples.
1. Parking: If you're like most churches, when the word parking is mentioned, people release a nervous giggle. Either churches don't have enough parking or their parking is too far away. The world is full of people who will spend 30 minutes driving through the parking lot at WalMart just to find that one spot that is "close". Never mind they could have parked, walked into the store, done their shopping, and been back in their car in that amount of time. Church attendees have the same mentality when arriving for services. They want ample parking and are going to take the closest spot they can find, regardless of the needs of others. Do you have handicapped parking spaces? You must if you're meeting ADA requirements but who parks in those spaces? Since handicapped parking tags are given out after most surgeries anymore, the people who truly need the spots are not often able to find them vacant. Do you have van accessible handicapped parking? If so, are vans with lifts parking there or are sedans and SUVs using those spots as they would any other handicapped spot? In our church we have a lot of handicapped parking but found that we needed to also add "Special Needs Ministry Parking" so that our families could find places to park near the building. A family with an autistic child might not have a handicapped parking sticker but they need close parking when they're walking with a "runner" through a crowded parking area. Having them walk 1/4 mile through a crowded lot is as dangerous as anything.
2. Doors: There is not a code in the ADA regulations that requires there to be automatic door openers on any doors (exterior or interior). If you go by minimum code, you'll probably not see any in your church. Think, however, about the mom pushing her son in a wheelchair. She approaches the door, purse & bags in hand, tries to open the door with one hand while pushing her son's chair through with the other hand. She'll use her foot or hip to help prop the door while she attempts to line up the chair and get it over the threshold. By the time she finally gets in the door, her bags are slipping down her arm, her hair is in her face, and she's worked up quite the sweat. Picture the same scenario as she's walking into the bathroom. While all bathrooms must have a disability accessible stall, they do not have to have the automatic door openers.
3. Elevators: You know that it is code to have elevators in buildings with more than one story but think about the size and the availability. Are your elevators capable of holding a large wheelchair and an assistant? Can you turn a wheelchair around in the elevator? Are the elevators in close proximity to the programming areas most used?
Now that you have an idea about accessibility and you have these avenues in place, think about if they're working? To let you in on my world....
Parking: We have handicapped parking but it's generally full well before the first service (which starts at 9:00am) because our older population come for their Adult Fellowship at 8am. While our SN Parking helps, it does not allow for the space needed for our wheelchair lift vans.
Doors: We have one main entrance door with an automatic opener and one set of bathrooms with automatic openers. The main entrance door is not technically our "main entrance" any longer (though it is closest to the SN Adult Fellowship classroom) and it does not work 75% of the time. The bathrooms with automatic openers are located in the Elementary Children's Programming area and are not easily accessible during Sunday Morning Services. The new space, near our new Worship Center, does not have any automatic doors and the doors are much heavier.
Elevators: We have three main buildings all connected by hallways. In each of the buildings we have one pair of elevators. At one point, there was one elevator (located in our oldest building furthest from the SN Suite and Worship Center) working....the other 5 were not. There are no ramps inside the building so if no elevators work, there is no way to get to the 2nd level from the 1st.
I say all this to help you as you plan, lead, or think about developing a Special Needs Ministry in your church. You can have the best ministry around but if you're not accessible, you're of no good to the people you're trying to serve.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Adult Programming...Age Appropriateness
Since the SN Ministry here at SCC serves birth through adults, I have to constantly remind myself of my audience in order to plan appropriate activities. This past weekend I attended the Joni & Friends Disability Ministry Summit in Pasadena, CA. It was there that I attended a workshop by Dr. Jeff McNair and was reminded just how important it is to be age appropriate with the population we work with. It's important not just in the activities we plan but in the way we talk to people.
How we talk:
When addressing an adult with a disability, it's easy to talk down to them. We might refer to a group as kids. We might address them as "babe", "buddy", or "sweetie". While these words don't seem harmful, think about what they relay to others hearing your conversation. People around are going to pick up on the cues you're giving through your talk and they're going to make judgements. If I am visiting with an adult with Down Syndrome and say, "Hey sweetie" it implies that they are no more than a child in my eyes. I would never approach a woman in the workplace by saying "Hey sweetie". If I did, I'd probably hear about it. Why, then, should we talk to someone with a disability in that way? It's always best to use their name when in conversation (having someone know your name can mean more than anything), but when you don't know it, refer to them as you would any other adult.
Age Appropriate Activities:
Think about how the activities you have planned relate to the adults you're working with. In a typical Adult Sunday School class, would you ever find them sitting at the tables coloring on coloring pages? Would you ever find them playing with toddler toys? Absolutely not, they'd be engaged in "adult" activities. Why then, would we ask our adults with disabilities to do any different? While arts and crafts is not a bad thing to have as a part of a Sunday School Class, think about what type of crafts they're doing. There are a lot of adult appropriate crafts that can be used in place of coloring on a coloring page.
When you plan outings, keep age appropriateness in mind as well. Remember that the community sees you with the adults and will pick up on how you're treating them to determine how they will treat others with disabilities. Is it really appropriate for you to take an adult to McDonalds or would taking them to Starbucks be a little better? Again, would you suggest that a coworker meet you at McDonalds for lunch? Probably not. How much more dignity are you giving your coworker than you are your friend with a disability? Wow, that hits home.
All in all, this is stuff that I know but that I find myself not doing. It's easy to get caught up in how the world treats adults with disabilities and forget that they are worth the $5 coffee at Starbucks too.
How we talk:
When addressing an adult with a disability, it's easy to talk down to them. We might refer to a group as kids. We might address them as "babe", "buddy", or "sweetie". While these words don't seem harmful, think about what they relay to others hearing your conversation. People around are going to pick up on the cues you're giving through your talk and they're going to make judgements. If I am visiting with an adult with Down Syndrome and say, "Hey sweetie" it implies that they are no more than a child in my eyes. I would never approach a woman in the workplace by saying "Hey sweetie". If I did, I'd probably hear about it. Why, then, should we talk to someone with a disability in that way? It's always best to use their name when in conversation (having someone know your name can mean more than anything), but when you don't know it, refer to them as you would any other adult.
Age Appropriate Activities:
Think about how the activities you have planned relate to the adults you're working with. In a typical Adult Sunday School class, would you ever find them sitting at the tables coloring on coloring pages? Would you ever find them playing with toddler toys? Absolutely not, they'd be engaged in "adult" activities. Why then, would we ask our adults with disabilities to do any different? While arts and crafts is not a bad thing to have as a part of a Sunday School Class, think about what type of crafts they're doing. There are a lot of adult appropriate crafts that can be used in place of coloring on a coloring page.
When you plan outings, keep age appropriateness in mind as well. Remember that the community sees you with the adults and will pick up on how you're treating them to determine how they will treat others with disabilities. Is it really appropriate for you to take an adult to McDonalds or would taking them to Starbucks be a little better? Again, would you suggest that a coworker meet you at McDonalds for lunch? Probably not. How much more dignity are you giving your coworker than you are your friend with a disability? Wow, that hits home.
All in all, this is stuff that I know but that I find myself not doing. It's easy to get caught up in how the world treats adults with disabilities and forget that they are worth the $5 coffee at Starbucks too.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Benefits of Inclusion
Inclusion is one of the areas of the Special Needs Ministry at SCC. We offer inclusion either with or without a buddy, depending on the needs of the child. When people hear that the goal is to have more Special Needs kids included in typical programming than have them in a specialized classroom, some people raise their eyebrows. I find it funny because inclusion is a priority for me and it is a vital part of the ministry (& the church as a whole).
I grew up knowing that God made everyone in His image and that people weren't all just like me but I don't remember being around people with disabilities. I wouldn't say that I was sheltered at all but I don't remember ever being around anyone with a disability until I was in Junior High. When I look at my own children, I find that they are completely oblivious to the fact that the children and adults I work with have disabilities. They see them the same way they see anyone else. Sure, their second home might be the Special Needs area here at the church, but they also have special needs kids in their classes and groups when they're in Sunday School. It's not anything for my 4 year old to be playing with a child who then starts to flap their arms because they got so excited.
A few weeks ago during our Easter Sunday programming, I had an unusual experience with including a child in typical programming. Since it was Easter, we had a lot of volunteers in the Preschool Department who were just filling in for a Sunday and didn't typically serve on a regular basis. We wanted to allow some of our higher functioning children to experience JAM Time (the FABULOUS preschool large group program) so a youth and I took a few kids upstairs to try it out. In JAM Time everyone sits on the floor so we found space towards the back of the room to allow for an easy exit if one of the kids got uncomfortable. (The kids we took upstairs were not preschool age but it was more appropriate for them to be in JAM Time rather than being in a setting where the lesson was taught in another manner.) After the songs were over, it was time for the lesson. J sat right down in the middle of a class of kids. Since there was action on the stage grabbing the kids' attention, they didn't even look twice at J. The volunteer, on the other hand, immediately became nervous. She wouldn't take her eyes off J. Every time he made any movement or responded in a loud voice to the questions asked from the stage, the volunteer would look back at me with eyes as if to say, "Aren't you going to do something?" (I was close enough to help but far enough back to give J his space.) At one point I did have to remind J to sit on his pockets so others could see but I never had to say anything else.
It was at that moment I realized just how lucky we are to have a program where kids like J are integrated flawlessly into typical programs. To the kids in the class he joined, he was just another body sitting beside them yelling "Jesus is ALIVE". To the teacher, who might not have ever been around anyone with special needs, he was a worry. As a parent, I want my kids to be so in tune with how the Lord created us all special in our own way that they don't think twice about being around someone who might not look the same way they do or do the same things they do.
Inclusion, in my opinion, is not only important for the special needs child but probably more important for the typical children they're around. For some, church might be the only place they have positive interaction with people with disabilities.
Lord please protect the eyes that don't see prejudices or differences and please start to soften the eyes that do.
I grew up knowing that God made everyone in His image and that people weren't all just like me but I don't remember being around people with disabilities. I wouldn't say that I was sheltered at all but I don't remember ever being around anyone with a disability until I was in Junior High. When I look at my own children, I find that they are completely oblivious to the fact that the children and adults I work with have disabilities. They see them the same way they see anyone else. Sure, their second home might be the Special Needs area here at the church, but they also have special needs kids in their classes and groups when they're in Sunday School. It's not anything for my 4 year old to be playing with a child who then starts to flap their arms because they got so excited.
A few weeks ago during our Easter Sunday programming, I had an unusual experience with including a child in typical programming. Since it was Easter, we had a lot of volunteers in the Preschool Department who were just filling in for a Sunday and didn't typically serve on a regular basis. We wanted to allow some of our higher functioning children to experience JAM Time (the FABULOUS preschool large group program) so a youth and I took a few kids upstairs to try it out. In JAM Time everyone sits on the floor so we found space towards the back of the room to allow for an easy exit if one of the kids got uncomfortable. (The kids we took upstairs were not preschool age but it was more appropriate for them to be in JAM Time rather than being in a setting where the lesson was taught in another manner.) After the songs were over, it was time for the lesson. J sat right down in the middle of a class of kids. Since there was action on the stage grabbing the kids' attention, they didn't even look twice at J. The volunteer, on the other hand, immediately became nervous. She wouldn't take her eyes off J. Every time he made any movement or responded in a loud voice to the questions asked from the stage, the volunteer would look back at me with eyes as if to say, "Aren't you going to do something?" (I was close enough to help but far enough back to give J his space.) At one point I did have to remind J to sit on his pockets so others could see but I never had to say anything else.
It was at that moment I realized just how lucky we are to have a program where kids like J are integrated flawlessly into typical programs. To the kids in the class he joined, he was just another body sitting beside them yelling "Jesus is ALIVE". To the teacher, who might not have ever been around anyone with special needs, he was a worry. As a parent, I want my kids to be so in tune with how the Lord created us all special in our own way that they don't think twice about being around someone who might not look the same way they do or do the same things they do.
Inclusion, in my opinion, is not only important for the special needs child but probably more important for the typical children they're around. For some, church might be the only place they have positive interaction with people with disabilities.
Lord please protect the eyes that don't see prejudices or differences and please start to soften the eyes that do.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Special Needs Sunday...part one
This past weekend was one to remember. We had our first Special Needs Sunday at Stonebriar Community Church. I'm going to have to break up the posts a bit. I'll write in this post about the highs of the weekend and in another post I'll give you the lows of the weekend. While the highs completely outweigh the lows, this blog is about sharing both sides of this ministry.
So back to the post...
Back in January, I met with my boss, the Children's Pastor, and we discussed plans for the Special Needs Ministry. Since he was new to the position, I decided to lay it all out. I told him my dream would be to have a Special Needs Sunday. While I was dreaming about the idea, he took it to our Senior Pastor and got two thumbs up. Next thing I knew I was finding a date and starting to put flesh to my dream.
Four months later on April 18, 2010, Stonebriar Community Church devoted an entire Sunday to the Special Needs Ministry. This has never been done and honestly I didn't think it ever would be done. The Worship Service at SCC is an untouchable piece of the puzzle. It is a sacred time when the congregation is led to worship and experience God in ways they might not in other areas of the church. It was my job to mix the Special Needs Ministry into the Worship Service without losing the sanctity of the morning. In my eyes, this was an easy task because I believe the worship of a child or adult with special needs is as close as you can get to honest and true worship the way it was meant to be. In the typical churchgoers eyes, however, this could be seen as a distraction or a show.
All in all, I think we did a good job of relaying our message of true worship to those in the service. We started out with a simple video that gave a little insight into the world of Autism. Following the video, Pastor Chuck interviewed me about the ministry and why we were doing what we were doing. This was just a way to give the nuts and bolts of the ministry and allow the congregation a way to be involved. Our kids, however, were the true heroes. We had one little girl with Autism sing "Tis So Sweet", bringing the congregation to their feet is a roar of applause. We also had an older teen lead the congregation in prayer. Finally, we had a whole group of kids and adults take up the offering while serving as ushers. They were perfect.
Again, the goal of the morning was not to bring pity to these kids and adults but to open the eyes of our congregation. We wanted them to experience worship through the eyes of a person with special needs. I think people who might have been turned off by differences in the beginning might be more open to the differences now.
So back to the post...
Back in January, I met with my boss, the Children's Pastor, and we discussed plans for the Special Needs Ministry. Since he was new to the position, I decided to lay it all out. I told him my dream would be to have a Special Needs Sunday. While I was dreaming about the idea, he took it to our Senior Pastor and got two thumbs up. Next thing I knew I was finding a date and starting to put flesh to my dream.
Four months later on April 18, 2010, Stonebriar Community Church devoted an entire Sunday to the Special Needs Ministry. This has never been done and honestly I didn't think it ever would be done. The Worship Service at SCC is an untouchable piece of the puzzle. It is a sacred time when the congregation is led to worship and experience God in ways they might not in other areas of the church. It was my job to mix the Special Needs Ministry into the Worship Service without losing the sanctity of the morning. In my eyes, this was an easy task because I believe the worship of a child or adult with special needs is as close as you can get to honest and true worship the way it was meant to be. In the typical churchgoers eyes, however, this could be seen as a distraction or a show.
All in all, I think we did a good job of relaying our message of true worship to those in the service. We started out with a simple video that gave a little insight into the world of Autism. Following the video, Pastor Chuck interviewed me about the ministry and why we were doing what we were doing. This was just a way to give the nuts and bolts of the ministry and allow the congregation a way to be involved. Our kids, however, were the true heroes. We had one little girl with Autism sing "Tis So Sweet", bringing the congregation to their feet is a roar of applause. We also had an older teen lead the congregation in prayer. Finally, we had a whole group of kids and adults take up the offering while serving as ushers. They were perfect.
Again, the goal of the morning was not to bring pity to these kids and adults but to open the eyes of our congregation. We wanted them to experience worship through the eyes of a person with special needs. I think people who might have been turned off by differences in the beginning might be more open to the differences now.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Grieving (Understanding Parents)
One of the main aspects of having a Special Needs Ministry is working with the parents. They are the ones who need someone to listen to them, someone to understand, and someone to turn to when there seems to be no one left. I love building relationships with the parents and find that they are the ones who move the ministry in the direction it needs to be going.
I had lunch with a mom of a special needs child yesterday. Something she said has resonated with me for 24 hours and has given me more insight into the world of special needs than anything else. She started off by saying, "Parents of special needs children are going through the grieving process." I thought, I know that. I've heard that for years. It wasn't until she continued with her thought that I thought, wow, now THAT'S it. She continued to say that they start grieving when their child is diagnosed and might go through the set steps to grief but they don't stop there. Each time there is an event in which their child's disability is brought to light again, they start fresh with grieving. She was so true. Let me expand on it a little.
I have a typical child. He mastered his first word at 9 months and we were thrilled. He started walking at 16 months, again we were thrilled and probably blogged all about it. This past December, he performed in his first class program up on stage. Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks as he stood up there dressed like a donkey singing about Jesus. I can't wait for him to start Kindergarten in a year, play his first t-ball game, and even have his first little crush. All of these things make my eyes light up.
Now I have many friends (parents of my special needs kids whom I call friends) who have special needs children. In talking with them, I've heard the heartache associated with simple milestones. They experience the first day of school in a different way. It might not be a joyous event. It might be hard knowing what their child is going to have to go through. They hear of the school program coming up and grimace because they know their child will probably not want to be anywhere near the other kids on the stage. If they do choose to be on the stage, they might not be singing like the other kids. To think of the events to come, they have a sense of loss. The dreams of watching their son be the star pitcher of the baseball team or their daughter being Homecoming Queen might not ever come to be. This is grief revisited. Grieving the dreams, the simple milestones, and the expectations. The amazing turn is that many of the families I know eventually find a way to look at the expectations and milestones though different lenses. They make a deliberate choice to focus on what their child can do and how much they have accomplished. While it's not always easy, that is what they have to do and they do it.
How blessed are we to work with such strong parents? I'm blessed beyond measure. Each day I only hope that I can gain a little more insight into their world. I don't ever want to pretend I know what they're going through because I probably never will. I do, however, want to become more in tune to what they're dealing with, in order to help me minister to them in a more effective way.
I had lunch with a mom of a special needs child yesterday. Something she said has resonated with me for 24 hours and has given me more insight into the world of special needs than anything else. She started off by saying, "Parents of special needs children are going through the grieving process." I thought, I know that. I've heard that for years. It wasn't until she continued with her thought that I thought, wow, now THAT'S it. She continued to say that they start grieving when their child is diagnosed and might go through the set steps to grief but they don't stop there. Each time there is an event in which their child's disability is brought to light again, they start fresh with grieving. She was so true. Let me expand on it a little.
I have a typical child. He mastered his first word at 9 months and we were thrilled. He started walking at 16 months, again we were thrilled and probably blogged all about it. This past December, he performed in his first class program up on stage. Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks as he stood up there dressed like a donkey singing about Jesus. I can't wait for him to start Kindergarten in a year, play his first t-ball game, and even have his first little crush. All of these things make my eyes light up.
Now I have many friends (parents of my special needs kids whom I call friends) who have special needs children. In talking with them, I've heard the heartache associated with simple milestones. They experience the first day of school in a different way. It might not be a joyous event. It might be hard knowing what their child is going to have to go through. They hear of the school program coming up and grimace because they know their child will probably not want to be anywhere near the other kids on the stage. If they do choose to be on the stage, they might not be singing like the other kids. To think of the events to come, they have a sense of loss. The dreams of watching their son be the star pitcher of the baseball team or their daughter being Homecoming Queen might not ever come to be. This is grief revisited. Grieving the dreams, the simple milestones, and the expectations. The amazing turn is that many of the families I know eventually find a way to look at the expectations and milestones though different lenses. They make a deliberate choice to focus on what their child can do and how much they have accomplished. While it's not always easy, that is what they have to do and they do it.
How blessed are we to work with such strong parents? I'm blessed beyond measure. Each day I only hope that I can gain a little more insight into their world. I don't ever want to pretend I know what they're going through because I probably never will. I do, however, want to become more in tune to what they're dealing with, in order to help me minister to them in a more effective way.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Plunging into Craziness
I'm going to give you a little taste into the typical Sunday in the Special Needs Ministry here at SCC. I share this with you so you'll see the reality of SN Ministry. Most books that you read about SN Ministry, you hear the joys and how the Lord will bless you for taking in the shunned. By the time you've finished reading up on the ministry, you'll have a warm and fuzzy feeling and be ready to open your doors to the world. I want to paint you a picture of the reality of SN Ministry, not to discourage you but to educate you before you jump in.
One Sunday we had a prime example of the craziness SN Ministry has to offer. During our first service we only had 5 kids in the SN Classroom (not including the kids included in typical programming throughout the building). If you're like me, you think 5 kids...piece of cake. I could name off multiple groupings of 5 of our special needs kids that would make a perfect morning. There are several who would sit and read with a volunteer, maybe play contently in the sensory room, or be totally engulfed in the craft for the morning you wouldn't know they had sensory issues. These were not the five in our room that morning. We had two who were attacking anything standing still long enough to be attacked, one desperately wanting certain male volunteers to play with her while ignoring the attempts of the female volunteers to engage her, another who played well in the beginning but his smile could turn to a frown in a heartbeat therefore causing him to want to attack anything around, and another who was content but easily frustrated at the other kids' lack of order. Five kids felt like fifty.
How did we spend the morning? We did damage control. There are some mornings you'll find you're just putting out fires and not getting to anything you wanted to do. At one point I had to just laugh. As crazy as everything was, this was fun. This was what I was created to do. I changed a horrible diaper, walked back into the room to barely catch the toy shelf one tried to knock over, just in time to catch the other one trying to jump high enough to reach the light for a quick swing, and ended with all the volunteers singing and dancing with the music/story teacher who rotates into our class during the last 10 minutes. All in all it was one of the most enjoyable, yet exhausting, days I've had. By the end of the morning, all of the kids were safe and cared for. I know they heard that they are loved and created perfectly in the image of Christ, even if it was while we were changing a diaper or picking up chairs.
Again, I tell you this story not to scare you away from SN Ministry but to encourage you with the truth of disability...you'll never have a typical Sunday, you'll never know if five will feel like fifty, and you'll always have parents who wouldn't be able to worship without this ministry. If you're like me, the excitement and thrill of the unknown will make you want to take the plunge but at least you're going in fully aware of the craziness that is waiting to engulf you. Like I always say, "Bring on the craziness!!!"
One Sunday we had a prime example of the craziness SN Ministry has to offer. During our first service we only had 5 kids in the SN Classroom (not including the kids included in typical programming throughout the building). If you're like me, you think 5 kids...piece of cake. I could name off multiple groupings of 5 of our special needs kids that would make a perfect morning. There are several who would sit and read with a volunteer, maybe play contently in the sensory room, or be totally engulfed in the craft for the morning you wouldn't know they had sensory issues. These were not the five in our room that morning. We had two who were attacking anything standing still long enough to be attacked, one desperately wanting certain male volunteers to play with her while ignoring the attempts of the female volunteers to engage her, another who played well in the beginning but his smile could turn to a frown in a heartbeat therefore causing him to want to attack anything around, and another who was content but easily frustrated at the other kids' lack of order. Five kids felt like fifty.
How did we spend the morning? We did damage control. There are some mornings you'll find you're just putting out fires and not getting to anything you wanted to do. At one point I had to just laugh. As crazy as everything was, this was fun. This was what I was created to do. I changed a horrible diaper, walked back into the room to barely catch the toy shelf one tried to knock over, just in time to catch the other one trying to jump high enough to reach the light for a quick swing, and ended with all the volunteers singing and dancing with the music/story teacher who rotates into our class during the last 10 minutes. All in all it was one of the most enjoyable, yet exhausting, days I've had. By the end of the morning, all of the kids were safe and cared for. I know they heard that they are loved and created perfectly in the image of Christ, even if it was while we were changing a diaper or picking up chairs.
Again, I tell you this story not to scare you away from SN Ministry but to encourage you with the truth of disability...you'll never have a typical Sunday, you'll never know if five will feel like fifty, and you'll always have parents who wouldn't be able to worship without this ministry. If you're like me, the excitement and thrill of the unknown will make you want to take the plunge but at least you're going in fully aware of the craziness that is waiting to engulf you. Like I always say, "Bring on the craziness!!!"
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Youth Volunteers
The Special Needs Ministry at SCC has a LOT of youth volunteers. In our church, once you go into 5th grade, you are encouraged to begin serving somewhere. I've found that we tend to have a lot of kids interested in serving in the SN Ministry. I'm not sure if it's because we have the most "toys" in our room or if it's because these kids truly have a desire to work with special needs kids. Either way, we LOVE having them and find that many of them stay serving in the SN Ministry until they graduate from High School. We have very low turn-over with our youth.
I've found that the youth are some of the best volunteers you can get. We try to use our youth mainly as buddies. Our kids seem to respond better when one of their peers (slightly older but still a peer) is guiding them in a typical classroom setting rather than an adult. Isn't that how it always is, kids will listen to guidance from peers but tend to shun it off when mom or dad give them the same advice? We've also found just by having peer there it seems to take the differences away. Other kids in the classroom are more apt to come up and start visiting with the special needs child as opposed to when an adult is there.
Our youth volunteers make up probably 50% of our volunteer pool. They are the backbone of this ministry. They're the ones down on the ground interacting with the kids. They're the ones following the kids around to make sure they don't escape. They're the ones building friendships with kids they might have never taken the time to get to know.
If you have a way to tap into the youth of your church, you'll find some jewels. You'll be gaining volunteers while they'll be gaining experience in working with people who are different than they are. You'll find that the benefits are great on both ends.
I've found that the youth are some of the best volunteers you can get. We try to use our youth mainly as buddies. Our kids seem to respond better when one of their peers (slightly older but still a peer) is guiding them in a typical classroom setting rather than an adult. Isn't that how it always is, kids will listen to guidance from peers but tend to shun it off when mom or dad give them the same advice? We've also found just by having peer there it seems to take the differences away. Other kids in the classroom are more apt to come up and start visiting with the special needs child as opposed to when an adult is there.
Our youth volunteers make up probably 50% of our volunteer pool. They are the backbone of this ministry. They're the ones down on the ground interacting with the kids. They're the ones following the kids around to make sure they don't escape. They're the ones building friendships with kids they might have never taken the time to get to know.
It's an honor to serve alongside the youth of the SN Ministry. They are great examples and I'm always proud to say that they're MY youth.
If you have a way to tap into the youth of your church, you'll find some jewels. You'll be gaining volunteers while they'll be gaining experience in working with people who are different than they are. You'll find that the benefits are great on both ends.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Volunteers
How do you get volunteers? If you're going to ask a loaded question, that's the one to ask. Mention the word "volunteers" to anyone working in a church and you'll most likely hear nervous laughter. We laugh because volunteers (or the lack thereof) tend to be the thorn in our sides. We never have enough volunteers, we never have the right volunteers, or we can't ever hang onto the "perfect" volunteers. It's always something.
I've found it's the opposite in Special Needs. The volunteers we have are the cream of the crop. We attract the most dedicated volunteers. I have volunteers who have been with this ministry since the beginning and they wouldn't think of leaving. Someone who is willing to put up with all kinds of craziness for an hour and a half every Sunday or every other Sunday would have to be dedicated to the cause in order to come back again and again.
Special Needs is the one area in which we have to be really picky about who can volunteer. I'm not saying that I've turned away help but we can't just take any willing body, stick them in a Special Needs classroom for an hour, and expect them to thrive. There are, however, certain people that are drawn to it. These are the ones who have a heart the size of Texas and will stick with you through thick and thin.
You have to remember to treat your volunteers well. While serving is an act of worship, it doesn't come natural to most. Remember to pamper your volunteers and make them feel like they're needed. There is not an activity that goes by without the support of volunteers but too often I'm too busy to let them know how precious they are to me. It's the little connections that keep them coming back. If you are genuinely interested in their lives and their families, they'll support you 110%.
I've found it's the opposite in Special Needs. The volunteers we have are the cream of the crop. We attract the most dedicated volunteers. I have volunteers who have been with this ministry since the beginning and they wouldn't think of leaving. Someone who is willing to put up with all kinds of craziness for an hour and a half every Sunday or every other Sunday would have to be dedicated to the cause in order to come back again and again.
Special Needs is the one area in which we have to be really picky about who can volunteer. I'm not saying that I've turned away help but we can't just take any willing body, stick them in a Special Needs classroom for an hour, and expect them to thrive. There are, however, certain people that are drawn to it. These are the ones who have a heart the size of Texas and will stick with you through thick and thin.
You have to remember to treat your volunteers well. While serving is an act of worship, it doesn't come natural to most. Remember to pamper your volunteers and make them feel like they're needed. There is not an activity that goes by without the support of volunteers but too often I'm too busy to let them know how precious they are to me. It's the little connections that keep them coming back. If you are genuinely interested in their lives and their families, they'll support you 110%.
Respite Ministry
One of the most popular programs of the Special Needs Ministry here at SCC is our Respite Ministry, or FunZone as many know it. We have FunZone on the 2nd Saturday of the month, September through May. It's basically a four hour time slot (5pm-9pm) when parents can drop off their special needs children and siblings while they go out and enjoy some time to themselves.
When I describe FunZone to someone who has never participated in it, I describe it as "organized chaos". We open up the entire 1st floor of the Preschool Building and allow the children to just play. We have special areas set up with crafts, games, and Wii but generally they're allowed to come and go through the activities as they wish. We have a movie that starts half way through the event but, other than special programs coming in, we don't have a set schedule. We feel these kids are structured so much of the time, this is a good time for them to just be free. You'll read below that they are paired one-on-one with volunteers so we don't just let them roam free alone.
There are several different aspects of FunZone. When you're setting up a respite ministry, you have to decide what works for your church, your families, and your volunteers. There is not one way to do it, just some basics you might want to consider when planning a program.
1. Dates: We have set FunZone to ALWAYS be on the 2nd Saturday of the month. This makes it easy for families and volunteers to plan. The 2nd Saturday won't ever conflict with Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years. It occasionally lands on Valentine's Day (which is a HUGE blessing for the parents and but not quite the blessing for the volunteers/staff), generally always lands the weekend starting Spring Break, and might land on Easter weekend. We have cancelled FunZone in the past because it has landed on Easter weekend. I'm not sure if we'd do that again but it is something to consider (both the participation of the families and the ability to get volunteers).
2. Time: We have always had a 4 hour FunZone. If you're a parent, you know that it generally takes you at least an hour to decompress well enough to start enjoying yourself. We want to give the parents as much time as possible without putting huge burdens on our volunteers. We've found that four hours is the perfect compromise. It makes it worth it for both the parents and the volunteers.
3. Volunteers: We pair up our special needs children and siblings on a tight ratio. We generally have a 1:1 ratio but might stretch to a 1:2 ratio for siblings if we are short on volunteers. We have found it is important for the safety of the kids to have one volunteer who is just there for them. Since our FunZone concept is "organized chaos", having a 1:1 ratio keeps everybody safe and still allows them to have a lot of fun and attention.
4. Meals: Since we start FunZone at 5pm, we find it necessary to feed our volunteers and allow the children to bring dinner to eat. We try to have the volunteers and kids go directly to the Meal Room when they arrive so we can get dinner out of the way and cleaned up rather than having it drag out. The volunteers are fed by our Women's Ministry Bible Studies and the kids are instructed to bring their own food. With so many allergies and picky eaters, we have stayed away from feeding the kids. It would just be a nightmare for us to try to sort everything out so we find it's easier this way. If a volunteer is assigned to a child who will not eat, ate before they came, or tends to not ever sit still, we'll use our floaters to help "relieve" those volunteers while they take a break to eat.
5. Invitations/Wait List: As a church, we decided that our goal is not to be a babysitting agency for special needs kids but to be a church that ministers to the family as a whole. When we decided this, we made the decision to make FunZone by invitation only. You'll get an invitation to FunZone if you have participated in a ministry of Stonebriar Community Church in the past 2 months. This gives enough time for families who have sick kids but also encourages people to be involved. We want this to be something that we can minister to the families though. If families just drop off and pick up every 2nd Saturday of the month, we're not able to make a connection and that was going against our values. Even with the invitation only system, we do still almost always have a wait list. We have made the commitment that safety of the kids is more important to us than letting everyone have a spot. This month, in fact, we have 32 kids on our wait list right now for FunZone on Saturday. I'm not worried because God always provides. We put the word out and volunteers come. I don't think we've ever had to turn kids away.
You might be asking, "Why would you do a program that takes so many volunteers, so much effort, and is so crazy?" The answer is easy....it's all for the parents. To see the drastic change in the face of a parent at drop off compared to pick up is amazing. Some will rush in with the kids barely noticing that their spouse is beside them. When they come to pick up, they'll be holding hands and looked like they just had a week long vacation. In that moment, everything is worth it.
When I describe FunZone to someone who has never participated in it, I describe it as "organized chaos". We open up the entire 1st floor of the Preschool Building and allow the children to just play. We have special areas set up with crafts, games, and Wii but generally they're allowed to come and go through the activities as they wish. We have a movie that starts half way through the event but, other than special programs coming in, we don't have a set schedule. We feel these kids are structured so much of the time, this is a good time for them to just be free. You'll read below that they are paired one-on-one with volunteers so we don't just let them roam free alone.
There are several different aspects of FunZone. When you're setting up a respite ministry, you have to decide what works for your church, your families, and your volunteers. There is not one way to do it, just some basics you might want to consider when planning a program.
1. Dates: We have set FunZone to ALWAYS be on the 2nd Saturday of the month. This makes it easy for families and volunteers to plan. The 2nd Saturday won't ever conflict with Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years. It occasionally lands on Valentine's Day (which is a HUGE blessing for the parents and but not quite the blessing for the volunteers/staff), generally always lands the weekend starting Spring Break, and might land on Easter weekend. We have cancelled FunZone in the past because it has landed on Easter weekend. I'm not sure if we'd do that again but it is something to consider (both the participation of the families and the ability to get volunteers).
2. Time: We have always had a 4 hour FunZone. If you're a parent, you know that it generally takes you at least an hour to decompress well enough to start enjoying yourself. We want to give the parents as much time as possible without putting huge burdens on our volunteers. We've found that four hours is the perfect compromise. It makes it worth it for both the parents and the volunteers.
3. Volunteers: We pair up our special needs children and siblings on a tight ratio. We generally have a 1:1 ratio but might stretch to a 1:2 ratio for siblings if we are short on volunteers. We have found it is important for the safety of the kids to have one volunteer who is just there for them. Since our FunZone concept is "organized chaos", having a 1:1 ratio keeps everybody safe and still allows them to have a lot of fun and attention.
4. Meals: Since we start FunZone at 5pm, we find it necessary to feed our volunteers and allow the children to bring dinner to eat. We try to have the volunteers and kids go directly to the Meal Room when they arrive so we can get dinner out of the way and cleaned up rather than having it drag out. The volunteers are fed by our Women's Ministry Bible Studies and the kids are instructed to bring their own food. With so many allergies and picky eaters, we have stayed away from feeding the kids. It would just be a nightmare for us to try to sort everything out so we find it's easier this way. If a volunteer is assigned to a child who will not eat, ate before they came, or tends to not ever sit still, we'll use our floaters to help "relieve" those volunteers while they take a break to eat.
5. Invitations/Wait List: As a church, we decided that our goal is not to be a babysitting agency for special needs kids but to be a church that ministers to the family as a whole. When we decided this, we made the decision to make FunZone by invitation only. You'll get an invitation to FunZone if you have participated in a ministry of Stonebriar Community Church in the past 2 months. This gives enough time for families who have sick kids but also encourages people to be involved. We want this to be something that we can minister to the families though. If families just drop off and pick up every 2nd Saturday of the month, we're not able to make a connection and that was going against our values. Even with the invitation only system, we do still almost always have a wait list. We have made the commitment that safety of the kids is more important to us than letting everyone have a spot. This month, in fact, we have 32 kids on our wait list right now for FunZone on Saturday. I'm not worried because God always provides. We put the word out and volunteers come. I don't think we've ever had to turn kids away.
You might be asking, "Why would you do a program that takes so many volunteers, so much effort, and is so crazy?" The answer is easy....it's all for the parents. To see the drastic change in the face of a parent at drop off compared to pick up is amazing. Some will rush in with the kids barely noticing that their spouse is beside them. When they come to pick up, they'll be holding hands and looked like they just had a week long vacation. In that moment, everything is worth it.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
10%
Today I attended a luncheon for Joni & Friends. They had a video presentation of the various ministries they are involved in to let those present know how they're working in the disability communities around the United States and the world. One simple statistic they showed has stuck with me.
"Only 10% of those with a disability will ever hear the Gospel message."
Wow! If that is not enough to make you want to reach out to those with disabilities, I don't know what is. There is such a large population of people in our own backyards that have not heard the Good News.
As we're entering into Easter weekend, I am continually brought to tears simply thinking about Christ loving me enough to die on the cross for my sins. I can't imagine there are so many people with disabilities who have never heard that Christ loves them that much too. Granted we might never know whether some with disabilities have trusted Christ as their savior. Some cannot communicate their beliefs verbally, some may not seem to understand the words we're saying, and some might not ever be able to state in simple words that they trust in Christ but who are we to not ever give God the opportunity to work in their lives? This brings me back to our vision. We have a precious opportunity to share with every child and adult with disabilities who comes into our building that God loves them and made them perfect in His image.
My prayer is that we'll be able to have the opportunity to reach the 90% that are out there longing to be loved and accepted.
"Only 10% of those with a disability will ever hear the Gospel message."
Wow! If that is not enough to make you want to reach out to those with disabilities, I don't know what is. There is such a large population of people in our own backyards that have not heard the Good News.
As we're entering into Easter weekend, I am continually brought to tears simply thinking about Christ loving me enough to die on the cross for my sins. I can't imagine there are so many people with disabilities who have never heard that Christ loves them that much too. Granted we might never know whether some with disabilities have trusted Christ as their savior. Some cannot communicate their beliefs verbally, some may not seem to understand the words we're saying, and some might not ever be able to state in simple words that they trust in Christ but who are we to not ever give God the opportunity to work in their lives? This brings me back to our vision. We have a precious opportunity to share with every child and adult with disabilities who comes into our building that God loves them and made them perfect in His image.
My prayer is that we'll be able to have the opportunity to reach the 90% that are out there longing to be loved and accepted.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Vision
When someone asks you to come up with a "Vision Statement" it can often be overwhelming. Yesterday I was talking with my boss and he suggested I come up with something. The first thing I did was google "Vision Statement" because google has all the answers, right? Little did I know I wouldn't find a lot of help. Basically all of the websites simply said that you need to state the goal of your organization in a few words and then your responsibility would be to strive to reach that goal...that's a vision. Wow, so simple yet so very complicated.
I struggled over what our goal is in the SN Ministry here at SCC. The vision of SCC is to "encourage all people to pursue a lifelong, joyous relationship with Jesus Christ". I think that perfectly sums up what we're trying to do in the SN Ministry but it doesn't quite touch how you do that with children and adults with disabilities. So I kept thinking. The whole time I was pondering, the Lord kept bringing up some additional words my boss told me. He said that the vision should be something that I find myself saying over and over. It should be that one phrase that people hear me say so much, it sticks with them. It all clicked...I have it! I've been saying our vision all along, I just haven't ever called it a Vision Statement. It's something that I find myself telling everyone who works in the SN Ministry, everyone who asks about the SN Ministry, and everyone who has kids involved in the SN Ministry. The SN Ministry at SCC exists so that everyone, regardless of ability or disability, will hear that God loves them and they are created perfectly in the image of Christ. It's that simple.
I struggled over what our goal is in the SN Ministry here at SCC. The vision of SCC is to "encourage all people to pursue a lifelong, joyous relationship with Jesus Christ". I think that perfectly sums up what we're trying to do in the SN Ministry but it doesn't quite touch how you do that with children and adults with disabilities. So I kept thinking. The whole time I was pondering, the Lord kept bringing up some additional words my boss told me. He said that the vision should be something that I find myself saying over and over. It should be that one phrase that people hear me say so much, it sticks with them. It all clicked...I have it! I've been saying our vision all along, I just haven't ever called it a Vision Statement. It's something that I find myself telling everyone who works in the SN Ministry, everyone who asks about the SN Ministry, and everyone who has kids involved in the SN Ministry. The SN Ministry at SCC exists so that everyone, regardless of ability or disability, will hear that God loves them and they are created perfectly in the image of Christ. It's that simple.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
It Starts with One
The title of this blog came from the saying that I find myself quoting the most to people who ask how to start a Special Needs Ministry. It is simple...it starts with one. Is there a child in your church who doesn't fit into the typical mold? Is it hard for him to sit through a 10 minute lesson? Does he tend to have trouble interacting with others? Is it worse? Will he even enter the church when it is filled with people? Does he immediately get overstimulated with the fluorescent lights and loud music? Or do you have a child who has a PEG and shouldn't eat anything by mouth? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you are ready to have a Special Needs Ministry. Am I saying that you need to go directly to your Senior Pastor, demand to be put on staff, and ask for a budget of $10,000 per year? Absolutely not but you do need to start looking at ways you can adjust what is already being done in order to accommodate the child who made you answer yes to any of the questions above. Are you able to be your first Special Needs Volunteer or do you know of someone who is? If so, you're on your way. Here are a few things to get you started:
1. Talk with the child's parents in a relaxed environment about their child. Find out what things trigger behaviors, what are his physical/social/spiritual needs, what do they do at home or at school to help ease these needs/triggers.
2. Talk with the staff in the areas to be addressed. Find out what level they'd like to be involved. Inform them of the problem and work with them to find a solution.
3. Make a plan with the parents, the special needs volunteer, and the teachers involved. Are you going to be able to integrate them in the typical program or are you going to have to adjust the programming in the back of the room for this specific child?
4. Try your plan but be FLEXIBLE to make changes as needed. Your goal is to make this child and his family feel comfortable in church...not to be right.
If you're able to take this child and his family from being outside observers to being inside participants, you've started a Special Needs Ministry. Remember is starts with one.
1. Talk with the child's parents in a relaxed environment about their child. Find out what things trigger behaviors, what are his physical/social/spiritual needs, what do they do at home or at school to help ease these needs/triggers.
2. Talk with the staff in the areas to be addressed. Find out what level they'd like to be involved. Inform them of the problem and work with them to find a solution.
3. Make a plan with the parents, the special needs volunteer, and the teachers involved. Are you going to be able to integrate them in the typical program or are you going to have to adjust the programming in the back of the room for this specific child?
4. Try your plan but be FLEXIBLE to make changes as needed. Your goal is to make this child and his family feel comfortable in church...not to be right.
If you're able to take this child and his family from being outside observers to being inside participants, you've started a Special Needs Ministry. Remember is starts with one.
Welcome
This is my first go at keeping up with a blog for ministry purposes. I am the Special Needs Coordinator at Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, TX. I get a lot of questions from people all over the country about the ministry at our church and what others need to do to have something similar. I'm hoping that this blog can help. I'm just going to keep my ideas flowing and let you in on what is working and what is not working. If you have any specific questions that you'd like me to address, please let me know. Special Needs Ministry is my passion and it is my desire to share that passion with others.
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